It’s already been a week into 2017, and it feels like I’m already well into the swing of things. Due to holiday and family things I missed my planned weekly blog-vignette thingo, so I’ll talk a bit about the past fortnight as a whole.
Being back at home and spending a week there was exactly like everyone comments:
“weird to be back”
“everything is the same”
“it’s like nothing happened!”
…etc.
I might write a bit about depersonalization later, which is a weird psychological thing I’ve been grappling with recently. Nothing crazy insane like, say, psychosis…but weird nonetheless. I suppose my impartiality to most of everything except a few moments in catching up with old friends could be indebted easily to “depersonalization”. However, it could equally as well be my head being in the clouds of complexity, mathematics and physics. Maybe all of the above.
I quite enjoy the mix of studying, going out for lunch with a friend, going back home and getting straight back into studying though. Plus a sprinkling of political, philosophical and scientific discussions online and off. Most, no, * virtually everyone* would probably say I’m nuts for studying so much – but it doesn’t feel like “studying” anymore. Reading books, working through problems in textbooks and writing down copious notes on everything is just one of my few natural conscious equilibrium states now. And it’s damn rewarding.
I imagine this will change when real pressure and stress makes its first visit of the year at the end of my summer project, in a few weeks. I’ll make its acquaintance again as semester 1 of my second year gets into gear too, as I’m sure.
Many would certainly say something along the lines of “Man, you should take a break and stop thinking/working once in a while”.
I haven’t had that direct comment given in some time, but the sentiment was there with most of my old high school friends, when I explained what I’d been up to. Yeah, what holiday – right?
For what it’s worth, I have been striving to do at least 10 minutes of meditation a day. Plus, I know a thing or two about racing thoughts and literally not being able to stop thinking – this isn’t a problem as of now. I’m almost certain that just the few weeks of daily meditation I’ve been doing are to thank for my fairly reliable capability to turn off the thought train of academics, and just sit in comfortable silence.
-A
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